So, on Monday I had a baby. (He’s healthy, I’m healthy, and he’s the most perfect and adorable baby in the whole world, for the record. And no, that’s not him in the picture; the internet and kids makes me nervous.) We’re home from the hospital now, and returning to ordinary life, which is as you’d guess a lot of work. And lots of well meaning people want to help me. So they offer to hold the sleeping baby so I can get something done.
But holding the sleepy baby is not helpful. Holding a baby while they sleep is the single best part of having a newborn. They’re all sweet and snuggly in your arms, and they look like angels. Holding the unconscious baby = not work.
If you want to help me, offer to make me a sandwich or clean my bathroom or scan my tax documents so I can pay the IRS. Or hold the baby when he’s crying and won’t nurse or sleep or settle down. That’s the help I actually need right now.
I think too many aid projects just want to hold the baby. (In the case of orphanage tourism, quite literally.) They see what they think is a need – a need that’s easy to fill! And they rush to do it. They don’t stop to ask – what do you need?
This is true both of big institutional donor programs that are eager to apply the sexy solution of the day to every situation – microfinance, health savings accounts, results based financing – and small individual donors who create tiny barely-functional NGOs to provide broiler chickens or used clothes to the needy.
The answer is to pause first, and actually find out what people need. It sounds easy, but it’s not. Just asking people generally isn’t enough. I feel like a total jerk complaining about the nice people who want to help me by holding my son, and I am a deeply privileged resident of the wealthy world.
If I was a Bangalore slum-dweller or a Congolese villager, who would I feel comfortable talking to about my needs? Would I talk to a researcher from the capital about what I need and what I don’t? Or would I just be afraid that if I criticized any aid, they’d send it all somewhere else to people who were grateful?
Bad aid isn’t solely the result of laziness or indifference – doing research on people’s true needs is surprisingly difficult. So is designing programs that meet those needs. But taking the time to do it makes all the difference.
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Chosen because it’s a guy holding a baby
Congrats!! So glad to hear you’re both doing well!
Congratulations! Knowing that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I know this baby will be the same exceptional gift to the world that his mother is! (… and his grandmother, as well!)
Congratulations and thanks for this powerful metaphor. I think this post should be required reading for anyone visiting a new mother and for anyone who wants to work in development.
Congratulations on the new baby and thank you for the wonderful metaphor that highlights the importance and power of needs assessments. Enjoy holding the sleeping baby!
Congratulations! You are Spot. On. on what is helpful with new babies.
Also: did you know that the ad in the RSS version of your post is for TOMS Shoes?
Congratulations on your healthy baby!
Great metaphor. So many times when people offer help they themselves are the ones that determine what they are going to do, and it is usually not to the full potential that it could be. Too many times people think that being a body somewhere or making an appearance and having your face seen at a venue that is aid funded is considered charitable work.
I propose that in circumstances where people are given credit for extreme aid work and in actuality they were just a body at that place, there needs to be a firm official that tells individuals what aid is needed and where to help at, but without driving these people away. This is tricky in doing because many see this as “kicking a good horse in the mouth” since these individuals are giving there time and money to help when they did not have to, yet one cannot deny that there is a potential for much more help given by people like this. By having someone that is deciding where individuals are going to be helping, this eliminates the situation of a random person, in the eyes of the aid recipient, asking where help is needed; thus they will not be as intimidated to explain what needs the most help. The person that is “in control” so to speak of organizing where aid will be allocated, must gain trust and have sincere relationships with the area they are helping so that the real target that needs the most assistance is aided.
This is an excellent metaphor that presents an interesting way for all people to begin to understand the concept of development. As a college student, one of my political science classes this semester has introduced me to this subject and the many approaches that can be taken when it comes to global aid. I couldn’t agree more with the recommendations you suggest. The most important thing I think I have learned in class this semester is that global aid needs to be evaluated on a closer basis. It needs to stop being handed out like candy and we need to start making more of an effort to figure out what people actually need and what will benefit them in the long run. Congratulations on your baby and good luck!
Great post, excellent points. And congratulations!
Hooray for babies! Congratulations and good luck with all the fun, wonderful things ahead. We’re 14 months ahead of you, and it just gets better.
This is the best analogy for this issue in aid I have heard thus far. To carry it a little further, your best friends may see that you like holding the sleeping baby and haven’t done your dishes in a week. Thus, they understand what you need. However, the farther people are removed from you, the less they perceive your real needs. It is hard to find two groups of people who have less in common and less understanding of one another besides the North and the South, so, logically, the North isn’t going to be the best at intuitively knowing what the South needs. So, other than just asking “what do you need?”, the best way for aid workers to find out what is needed is through proximity.
This is such a neat example. It puts an abstract idea into a very concrete, visual image. This semester, in class, we have been talking a lot about Searchers and Planners. In your example, the people who want to hold the baby, the planners, are the people who are coming in seeing a possible need on the surface, and diving in to try and help. However, you are perfectly capable of handling your baby. That is what you are having success at, it is the things around the house that you are failing at, but they see the first thing and jump on it, not searching around for what else needs to be done. Then there are the searchers who come in and let you nap and nourish your baby, only asking what things you need help with around the house.It is hard to be a searcher. Sometimes, I think we see a broken window, and try to clean the cracks off with windex. We have one tool in our hands, and don’t want to set it down and take the time to fix what the actual problem is. I don’t know if it is ignorance or if it is indifference. So many times in development people want to go in and change the world, and they already have exaclty in mind what needs to be changed. Most things take time and hardwork. You don’t always get to hold the baby, and get the warm cuddly feeling. Sometimes you have to clean up the crib that it has covered in poop.
This is a great analogy – and it is also great that you are not shy about asking for help where you REALLY need it. All things considered, though, I have heard a lot of stories from new moms that really make a person raise his/her eyebrows. I know one woman who went to the grocery store with her new daughter, and the cashier exclaimed, “Oh, what an adorable baby! Can I take her?” Needless to say, she was highly displeased.
I agree with “actually find out what people need”. In everything, you need to start with assessment first. I’m glad you have a new baby to dote on. Congrats 🙂
You’re not going to like it, but I think you might be in danger of turning into an aid wanker. I no longer see much humility in your work. Plenty of expertise disguised as humility, which impresses loads of people. But overall, an air of cleverness dominates. Don’t take yourself so seriously.
Thanks for writing such an interesting blog and congratulations on your baby!
The man in the photo is actually a friend of mine, which made seeing this post a bit strange (I wondered if I was on the right blog!). That’s apt as the blog of yours I have registered in Google Reader appears to have been hacked. I was subscribed to the domain alannashaikh DOT blogspot DOT com. Did you move your blog here instead or are they separate blogs? It’s probably not your top priority right now, but you might want to regain control of that blog to shut down the spammers using it.
Take care & thanks for your writing.
John
Editor – haters to the left
John – I deleted my old blogspot blog and moved the content here. Now someone else has signed up for the domain. There’s nothing I can do, because I gave up my rights when I deleted it. I suspect the new person is trying to get adviews on people still subscribed to the old RSS feed. I am just hoping it’s obvious this isn’t me…