It’s okay to quit the Peace Corps.
I’ve gotten a couple of email lately that made me really nervous. I responded to them personally, but it made me want to say something here, on this blog. I know a lot of Peace Corps volunteers read this, so:
It’s okay to quit Peace Corps. It’s okay to ET – leave your stint early. It’s okay to leave after two weeks if you can tell the situation is wrong. It’s okay to leave after 18 months if something is making you nervous. It’s your life, and it matters, and it’s okay to get out early.
Leaving Peace Corps won’t ruin your life. 33% of all PCVs do it. It won’t ruin your career, either. I promise. Not even if you want to work in development. It will not ruin your dream of having meaningful work and an international life.
If you want to leave Peace Corps and you think you can’t because it’ll ruin your career, email me. Alanna.shaikhATgmail.com. I’ll help you figure out what to do. Not some paid careers list thing, just me, pro bono, helping another person because I like to help.
Don’t do anything drastic. It’s okay. Your life isn’t ruined and it isn’t over and you are not a failure. Sometimes things are just a bad fit and that’s all right. No one will hold it against you.
We all make mistakes. I left a job I loved because it was the wrong job for me at that point in my life. I got fired from my very first job out of college. I flaked out on an internship with a woman I respected and I think she still dislikes me as a result. I cancelled an internship with CARE Egypt because I needed to go home already and not be in Cairo any more. And I still got to go have a whole career full of stuff I love to do with brilliant colleagues surrounding me.
You thought Peace Corps was the right fit for you and it’s not. Just fix your error, get out, and find the next step in your life. I really will help you if you like. My email’s right up there.
Don’t do anything drastic. Your life is not over. Neither is your career. Don’t make any dangerous decisions because you feel bad right now. Just get home, wherever that is to you, and find your next step once you get there.
Don’t stay if you fear for your safety, and don’t stay if you’re afraid you’ll harm yourself. Nothing is worth that.
Wonderful, heartfelt post as always. Thanks.
Sometimes making a tough decision like leaving shows more courage than sticking it out. When I was a PCV I stuck it out in a bad situation… a questionable decision based on pure ego.
Agreed.
I quite the Peace Corps just 3 months after I finished training. I loved our training, enjoyed my fellow volunteers, and had a great time: http://www.bellybuttonwindow.com/1997/peace_corps/
Yet the Peace Corps program had many issues, and I was tired to waiting for them to sort through it all. Leaving was hard, but I have never regretted it for a moment. I stayed in the country and got a private industry job and had a whole new career.
Now, 15 years later, I have never once had my ET held against me. In international development or even at PCV get-togethers. I still recommend the Peace Corps, and leaving it if the program doesn’t feel right. Life is short. Don’t squander it doing something you dislike.
Thank you for this, Alanna.
I’d like to echo this sentiment. Some of the people I most admire from my Peace Corps group are those who made the difficult decision to leave when they knew it really wasn’t right for them. Each person had a unique and valid reason for leaving and knew him/herself well enough to know the right choice. Deciding to ET is much better than sticking it out just for the sake of finishing. I knew a few PCVs who did that, which only made them (and those around them) miserable.
I have a lot of respect for people who decide to take the risk of quitting, and this doesn’t just apply to PC. I was reminded of this when I got home from my service and started a masters program that turned out to be completely unfulfilling. Quitting that program to switch schools and degrees was my version of an ET. Even though many people around me said I should just stick it out, I took the leap. I am much happier person for it.
Wow. Looks like you’ve been hit with some hard stuff from folks lately. You’ve done a good thing by posting this and reminding people that knowing when to fold ’em, as the song says, is not the end of the world or a life. You are a good role model in the ways you show your readers how you take care of yourself.
Totally agree. And I’d also point out that if you ET after, say, a year or a year and a half, or even 6 months, the only people who are likely to notice that from your CV are RPCVs, who would never hold it against you.
I disagree w/this article. If every volunteer who felt “nervous” or confused or, frankly, entirely ineffective, quit the Peace Corps, none of us would have finished. That’s just part of the process. Obviously Peace Corps is not right for everyone and those w/safety and/or personal concerns should do what’s best for them, but I cannot tell you how many returned volunteers I know who wanted to quit during their first year and didn’t and are now so thankful they didn’t.
In my opinion, a large % of volunteers quit out of frustration that nothing is getting accomplished, though it’s very difficult to gauge that early in your service. Also, the technical side of Peace Corps’ work is only one dimension. Many of the skills that make people very successful in American society actually make your life harder in the Peace Corps, e.g. being task-oriented or deadline-focused. That’s why people who approach the Peace Corps with more of a focus on the whole experience tend to do better than those looking to really affect immediate change in their communities. And *every* agency has its issues!
Totally agree that your life/career will go on w/o hiccups but I think it’s more about (a) what you’re missing out on and (b) the investment that Peace Corps, taxpayers, and your host community make in you.
I agree — it’s okay to quit the Peace Corps, or any other program or job that is not a good fit for you. In American culture, there is a stigma against quitters (“Quitters never win, and winners never quit”) that is hard to move past.
After college, I applied to the Peace Corps but ultimately chose a different volunteer program in community development because I really wanted to live and work in the Philippines (and Peace Corps did not have programs there at the time – hope I’m not dating myself!). I quit halfway through the year-long program. Quitting was – to this day – one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I realized that it was not a good fit, I was miserable, and it ultimately was not worth staying. Looking back, it was absolutely the right decision for me – even if it meant disappointing some people. Ironically (or somewhat fittingly?) I ended up living and working in the Philippines again later on in life.
I echo Erin’s comment above about how knowing yourself well enough is key to knowing whether it’s time to move on. This was certainly the case for me in my own decision to quit a volunteer program. I was aware of my strengths, weaknesses, values, and priorities, as well as what it would take for me to make my best contribution. The situation I was in was not a good match for those.
I’ve actually been blogging lately about the importance of self-awareness for careers in international development – if you’re interested in reading, including some self-reflection exercises, see http://developmentcrossroads.com/2011/11/the-most-important-person-to-know-in-aid-and-development/
I wish I could have read this in March 1995, when I was agonizing over the decision of quitting the Peace Corps. More than the guilt of leaving, I felt like a failure for giving up. I had made it seven months, and like some of the other post-ers above, had a wonderful in-country training experience. But for a variety of reasons, none of which can be clearly defined as being a single reason for leaving, that March, I knew I had to go.
After, I always felt I had to launch into an explanation about why I left the Peace Corps (which always changed depending on whom I was speaking with) or sometimes, I just never discussed that I had ever been at all. But I wish that I had just let all that guilt of quitting go at that time.
Peace Corps gave me lifelong friends, an opportunity to better understand myself (especially what works for me and what doesn’t), and my husband (who was in the same training group with me – not a bad souvenir from a Peace Corps experience). And as Shana, above noted, whatever the situation is – Peace Corps, another volunteer program, a job, or a school committee – sometimes the best decision you can make is quitting if it’s not a good fit.
Alanna is completely right in that quitting the Peace Corps did not mean that I wouldn’t have a meaningful careers or future international experiences. I have been living overseas now for eight years! But still, I wish I had known Alanna back in 1995, just to make me feel a little better about my decision – but reading this today, that tinge of regret is fading even more, as it should.
[…] says Alanna […]
I’m currently serving in the Peace Corps, in Burkina Faso, and while I agree wholeheartedly with this post, I’m still glad I didn’t read it 3 weeks ago in training. I was pretty miserable then, and it might have inspired me to give in to the discomfort and quit. Fortunately, I’m a bit older than your fresh-out-of-college volunteer, and experience told me to tough it out.
There’s a difference between “not a good fit” and “whatdoyoumeanidonthaveashowerthissucksbye”; one is a matter of life choices, while the other is just a question of comfort. I know the writer knows the difference, but I wish she had been a bit more explicit in pointing it out for the 22 year olds who might not.
Still, all in all…an excellent and accurate post from an excellent and accurate blog.
Great post, Alanna.
I’d imagine there are many others who aren’t in the Peace Corps, but who are facing similar questions about the direction of their lives. For those folks, I highly recommend joining Alanna’s development careers email list. You get her expert advice in a more personalized format and lots of good discussion about life in aid and development. Well worth subscribing.
I find it remarkable that the question to ET or not is more difficult than the decision to go in the first place. My group had at least 25% opting to ET. The first wave took place in training, resulting understandably from the considerably potent initial shock. After training we dropped off in waves and individually, mostly from the trauma of experiencing war or serious health problems. I think we had a few at the beginning of the 2nd rainy season too. The most spectacular ET took place in row 39 of a 747 over the North Atlantic Ocean. The fellow never made it to the training site.
There are plenty of other great reasons to ET from Peace Corps: poorly managed program, corruption, lack of accomplishment, the CD is an ass. Either way it adds the potential of layering a mood of self-doubt on top of the process of readjusting to the United States.
Of all the people considering the question who opted to stay, the reason was the same. They wanted to quit, but they felt trapped because they felt they had nothing to go back to. Also not a great situation.
Either way it is a terribly difficult decision with potentially serious ramifications. I remain very enthusiastic about Peace Corps, and I will always treasure the five months that I stayed in-country. Yet I do not actively recommend Peace Corps for others. It’s too unpredictable how it will turn out in any given case.
As a post-script, I returned to my site 30 years later to work professionally for a year. In so many ways it was as though I had never left…..
I just finished four years as a PCV, and I agree with your bottom line. Particularly if there is a safety issue at the heart of the matter.
I’ve seen a lot of PCV’s come through since I joined, and we tend to be type-A, goal-oriented people. That can work against us. At the end of my first year of service, I finally admitted to myself that my project was going to be a failure. I was supposed to be helping a group of 20 businesses adopt sustainable practices and reap economic benefits from doing so. Totally doable, but also totally dependent upon collaboration within the group. That’s how and why we failed. Could not overcome the mistrust and cultural resistance to collaboration.
So I faced a choice: if I pinned my definition of success to my performance relative to Goal 1 (transfer of technical skills, or, in my specific case, the adoption of sustainable practices by the whole group), I was going to fail and be miserable. But if I chose to measure my success against all three PC goals, then I could still do well in two out of three.
For non-PCV’s, the second and third goals of PC boil down to the cultural exchange of Americans learning about foreign cultures, and foreigners learning about American culture. I’m a simple guy, so I call it “Having fun and telling your friends back home about it.” When I thought about it that way, going for two out of three seemed like an easy choice to make. I stayed, and had so much fun that when my time ended, I changed programs and stayed two more years.
You know what? Not only have I had a blast, I have also had far more impact at work than I could have imagined. I can’t explain it, and I don’t want readers to think the collaboration-problem was solved, but on a one-on-one basis, the business owners, including many outside of the group to which I was assigned, got a lot out of my time there. And so did I.
Here’s what I know: it isn’t my accomplishments at work that will define the memories I will cherish from my PCV experience, it is the friendships. I have broken bread with many families, shared the challenges of their lives, and celebrated major milestones, all sober and earnestly, with people who have enriched me in ways no job in the U. S. ever has. (And I’ve had a few of those; suck it, Wall Street!)
So to PCV’s thinking of leaving because of frustration at goal one; consider shifting your focus, and investing as much energy in goals two and three as you have at work. You might be as lucky as I was, and end up hitting 2.5 goals out of three.
On the other hand, if staying will make you miserable, or compromise your safety, get out and don’t second-guess the decision. And thank you for your service!
I feel like I could write a book!
I was one of the most happy and positive people in my Peace Corps group. But some volunteers were straight haters and were evil. Long story short, some volunteers called up PC and made up horrible stories about me. Although I had a fantastic record/reputation in my community and job, I was given the choice to resign or to be forced to terminate. I resigned, went home and started graduate school.
I thought about fighting my case, proving that I was an excellent volunteer and that PC only heard false rumors/stories/lies, but I realized months later that I was not supposed to be in PC anymore. It wasn’t the right situation for me and my life. It took me about a year to recover from culture shock and trauma I faced leaving the PC.
I have one year left of grad school and will graduate with a Master’s in Teaching English as a Second or Foreign Language. My world is my oyster and I’ll be FREE to live and travel in any underdeveloped country!
If PC isn’t the right fit for you, LEAVE with PRIDE~!~
ONE LOVE
I’m currently serving in the Peace Corps and considering ETing. I just got to my site less than 2 weeks ago and know that I should give it more time, and I probably will; but I’m just doubting whether PC is something I’m at all interested in doing anymore.
Although I mostly enjoyed the training, did surprisingly well in my language classes, and made some good friends, I have felt almost since Day 1 that PC just isn’t for me. I can’t really say why I joined PC in the first place beyond the fact that I couldn’t get a job back in the US, and PC seemed like the least risky option (I mean, they pay for everything, and you get free health care!). I love the US, I’ve never had a bug for long-term international travel, I’m interested in learning other cultures but not enough to provide me with the motivation I need to stay here.
I’m in a relatively “posh” PC location, with a real job I can go to every day, and more or less concrete plans for my service. My host family is fairly rich and the culture here isn’t really all that much different than American culture. I have drinkable water readily accessible, my own bathroom, a TV in my bedroom, and a truly wonderful host family, but all of that kind of pales in comparison to how much I miss my old life in the US. I think what I miss most of all is my independence. I miss not being able to go out at night (my site isn’t safe at night), I miss being able to drive my car, I miss being able to go out hiking in the mountains whenever I want – and those are things I’ve always treasured, always been thankful for, and now that I can’t have them, I miss them terribly. I’ve lived before in rustic conditions in the US with no electricity, running water, or sewage, and I’ve adapted just fine because I still had my independence and I still could communicate. Adaptation’s not the problem – I just feel like I’m stagnating here, and that this is just a regular US job minus the ability to communicate. There are other problems – like health problems that I’m developing as a result of the climate here, and getting frustrated with the inefficiency of my host country agency and knowing that there’s really nothing I can do about it – but I feel like I should at least try to stick it out, that people feel these kinds of things all the time within the first few months of service. But that means I’ll be stuck here during the holidays too, another little detail I’m disappointed in the PC for organizing this way.
So I don’t know. I’d feel like a failure if I quit, especially this early on, but I wonder what it means that I sit here hoping that my health problems are enough to get them to send me home, or that some natural disaster will cause an evacuation. Horrible thoughts, but I want so much to not have to make this choice.
I’m in a somewhat similar position, working with another country’s volunteer corps. I feel slightly better than you do about my present environment and prospects, but much of what you write resonates.
Stay at least a few months. Quitting is one thing, but turning around in the airport – as you are almost doing, is another.* I can’t think of a HR manager in any sector who’d look on that favorably. Reality is harsh, but that’s something you need to consider. That’s worse than stagnation, and because you were unable to find work while at home it’s no more likely you’ll get it the second time around.
While the in-country partner organization here is fairly coherent, I still have great amounts of time on my hands. I’m using that to study and get skills that are applicable to the job, but more than anything a ticket to add to my experience next time I’m in the market. In between writing documents, I’m learning statistical programming with a few textbooks I’ve pulled off the net, and brushing up on a few spoken languages I’ve mostly forgotten. I want to be in the best position possible after this, whether that’s in development or working at home.
Get out occasionally, exercise, and get to the mountains or the coast if you can. For me being able to use my bike in the early mornings (this is a fairly safe place) is really helpful for my wellbeing. And have fun! There are almost certainly other expats or PC you can socialize with, so I’d make the most of that as much as possible.
Give it all a few months. Yes, the next three or four months may be hard, but I really don’t think you’re in a position to judge right now. And most good things are hard to start with…
*My major caveat is if you develop physical or mental health problems that make it harmful for you to stay in the country. It’s not clear if this is happening for you. I’d advise to take doxycycline as an antimalarial and broad spectrum antibiotic which will shut out most infections you’re at risk of. If you have access to a doctor in country, see them often, and take drugs liberally.
Interesting post! I don’t think I ever had a moment where I wanted to ET, but I was doing exactly what I wanted to do, where I wanted to do it. Sure, I had days where I missed everything in America. But I went into Peace Corps with NO expectations, and just waited to see where the tide would take me. I knew nothing about my country before arriving there. I was basically along for the ride, and what a ride it was!
There were some people, however, who were miserable the entire time. I didn’t understand why they didn’t just ET but maybe they thought that if they quit, bad things would befall them. For those of you just in to a few weeks at post, why not give it a couple months?? See if things change. Or as some of the commenters said, try to change your goals and focus. I did have a mini-breakdown at the 3rd month. It was an epiphany that a lot of volunteers have. I thought about what I was doing there, shifted my goals to more manageable ones and decided to just have fun with it. However, if you try all that, and you are still constantly miserable, go home!!
By the way I’m a different April than the one who wants to ET above 🙂 I should have chosen a different name hahaha
Why not use vacation days to come home for a week and regroup rather than quit?
I second the suggestion to take a vacation and come home— you could still quit after that. I ET’ed after one year and to this day regret it. I felt happy with foals 2 and 3 but wasn’t sure I was delivering enough on goal 1…but the thing is… peace corps in many ways is an investment on the lie of the volunteer because it can shape us in so many ways going forward… it was also really hard to evaluate the situation objectively at site. Once I ET’ed I could never go back. Also in ET’ing the pull you out very fast, as opposed to the long good byes of COS.
Thank you. I’m having ET guilt-40 yrs later! Trying to deal with feelings that I had pushed down for all those years. I was a spoiled 22-year-old and just could not take it anymore. I feel like the kids I was teaching were ‘mean’ to me lol. It was still the best experience of my life. Bless you for this blog!