How to ride in a white SUV
1. Look sheepish, like you would never been in this huge vehicle if you weren’t forced into it by overprotective security officers.
2. Look ill. Maintain a greenish-grey visage that makes it clear that if you weren’t so terribly ill, you’d be on a local bus at this very moment.
3. Ride with someone older than you, and develop a facial expression that indicates you are just the gormless flunky riding involuntarily in the VIP car.
4. Fill your vehicle with boxes and bags, to make it clear that the SUV is hauling important equipment and you’re just along for the ride.
5. Wear your damn seatbelt. If you’re going to cruise around in a symbol of oblivious neo-imperialism you owe it to world to be safe.
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Tags: rants
April 16th, 2009 at 11:24 am
You’re writing to one of my aid-work pet peeves. Way to rock it!
April 16th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Right on, Alanna! I used these tricks in the DRC probably 20 times (well, I was only there for 7 weeks).
April 17th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Outstanding! I only got to ride in a white vehicle once as a graduate student doing fieldwork in DRC; a bit jealous of the fact that there ARE seatbelts!
April 19th, 2009 at 2:53 am
I have #3 down.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:06 am
Wondering that these vehicles aren’t yet manufactured in China…
May 1st, 2009 at 11:29 am
#3 is my tactic of choice
May 21st, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Love it.
I always had some pride in the fact that my organizations (Practica, IDE, EWV, all tech-heavy organizations) tend to roll around in beat up old hilux trucks filled with pumps or pipes.
They’re still white, but far from spotless.
B
May 21st, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I also have a ‘88 2wd Nissan truck back in Canada – basically the oldest, weakest pickup you can think of. It’s white, with a hand-painted door. After living in Ethiopia for the better part of a year, I’m super tempted to make a set of those massive ‘UN’ stickers, and put them on my truck in Canada…
B
June 5th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
[...] Not our Land Cruiser, by the way. Practica’s still takin’ the bus over here. But in case we ever do roll in Cruisers, Alanna has let me know how to do it without looking like a tool. [...]