On Mother’s Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Motherhood and international development are linked for me. I’ve been working in development longer than I’ve been a parent, but becoming a mom changed the whole way I do this. My children are the core of my work, now. I want a better world for my sons. And my job influences my parenting. The links go back and forth, in dozens of ways. Together, they’re my life’s work – my boys and whatever good I do in development. The heart of both, though, comes down to one thing.

It’s not about me.

It doesn’t matter if I’m a good mother. What matters is that my boys are happy, healthy, and sane. The quality or worthiness or good intentions of development projects doesn’t matter either, if they don’t improve people’s lives.

To use some monitoring and evaluation jargon, it’s not about inputs. It’s about impact, and I’m just an input.

I’ve got to admit, it’s taken years for me to figure this out. I think my son was two years old before I figured out that “Am I a good mom?” was the wrong question to ask. I realized it when I was at work; I suspect I was actually making a logframe at the time.

The key to being good at development work – and motherhood – is leaving your ego behind. The longer I raise my children, the longer I do aid work, the better I get at taking myself out of it. It’s not about being liked, or likeable. It’s about being useful.